Do your questions reflect your opinions or your employee’s reality?

Coaching skills for managers include listening to them and asking questions which lead to solutions.

One of the ways we know if we are actually listening to them, and not arguing with them, is by using their words in a positive way.

For example, if you tell your employee you have received 3 complaints about them in the last two weeks (which, if true, is a fact versus something subjective like you have a bad attitude or you aren’t a team player), they will most likely push back and ask who complained.

They might argue, get defensive, and say it’s everyone else’s fault, others are being difficult.

Managers, who are listening to their employee and not what they believe, will respond using the employee’s words.

For example, you might say, what could others do differently so they aren’t difficult?

This doesn’t mean you agree with the employee. But it gives them an opportunity to respond from their point of view.

What the employee says could be followed by suggestions you were going to give them anyway. But these suggestions come from the way they initiated the conversation, from their reality and what they believe.

This can have a far more reaching effect then the employee changing something because they were told to change.

When we respond to our employees with words they use:

• It shows we’re listening
• Results will come from how they guided the conversation
• The chance for success is greater

Sometimes people have to be told. But many times its self-awareness that propels our change and growth.

We as managers have the opportunity to promote that self-awareness.

Do you have an employee who could work harder?

A manager once said to me, the work could get done in half the time if my employee would stop talking to everyone!

Does one of your employees come to mind when hearing this statement?

If so, you are likely creating more stress and work for yourself, not your employee!

Seriously, who couldn’t work harder? Be honest, are you putting in 100% all the time? Doubtful!

But you work very hard. So maybe you have someone on your team who you feel doesn’t contribute their fair share. And worse, other members of your team feel the same way about this person.

But what will you do about it? And how will you go about it?

If you want someone to work harder, first you need to identify what specifically you need them to do. If you stick to generalities rather than specifics, then nothing will change. Or maybe one thing will change, but you’ll also notice the 10 other things which don’t change as well!

Help your employee get more done one task at a time.

Praise them for improving, and ask how you can support them when the task is not getting done.

Having regular one on one meetings will help monitor their progress on a continuous basis.

As for what you will do about it if they don’t improve; this is important for you to consider. Will someone be put on a PIP (performance improvement plan) if they don’t improve. Will something they value be taken away?

If so, you have leverage on the employee. If nothing will happen, then why should the employee change?

When we get specific on what we need our employees to do more successfully and also understand the consequences for not meeting those specifics:

· We are focusing on one action item, rather than something general

· We can figure out if our employee needs training or motivation to get the job done

· We feel more effective since we are taking action

An employee who spends a lot of their day talking to others might bug you.

But what matters is whether or not the work they are being appraised on is getting done.

The definition of management is the art of managing.  The definition of managing is to bring about or succeed in accomplishing, sometimes despite difficulty or hardship.

The definition doesn’t mention people at all.

But if you are managing people, then you need to them help bring about the accomplishments.  Any first time manager knows from experience that if they try to do it all, they will crash and burn at some point.

Although I have some task oriented managers wonder about this question, I suggest the question isn’t relevant.

I mean, we can reverse the question.

If you are more people oriented than task drive, then how can you get people to do the tasks that need to be completed?

The reality is managers aren’t more effective if they are task oriented or people oriented.

They key is to be able to realize who you are talking to and which way they lean, and adapt your behavior to their style.

If someone is task oriented, then focus on what needs to get done, and listen to how they think it should get done, or if they don’t know how to do the task, just tell them how to do it!

If someone is people oriented, then have conversations about the importance of what they’re doing, show your appreciation for what they are doing and listen to what they have to say.

When you pay attention to whether an employee is task or person oriented:

• You adapt your listening and communication styles to what they need
• You shift your mindset when something isn’t going well so you can possibly attain forward movement
• You don’t use a one method fits all, which is a trap many managers fall into

And it doesn’t matter whether you are more task than people oriented.  You are adapting to maximize your managerial effectiveness!

Do you ever go home thinking you accomplished nothing?  Not sure how you contributed?

You remember when you were part of the staff.  Wow, were you a great contributor!  You were good (obviously, that’s why you were promoted!)

You knew your stuff.  You knew it.  While everyday may not have been great, in general you knew how you contributed.

Managers sometimes question their achievements.

This happens for several reasons.  They might miss the work they used to do, they might feel a little more isolated and not part of the team as they once did.  When they contributed they could measure their success on what they did.  Now, they measure it on what others do, and that’s harder to measure.

At least until you think about it.

I coached an executive who would leave work unfulfilled.  They didn’t know what they accomplished.

So we set an SMT goal for them to either write down or say to themselves three things they did successfully that day as a manager.

What this did is get the executive to focus on what they did.  What they picked didn’t matter; it could be trivial or major.  The importance was acknowledging their contribution.

This gave her something to measure her successes.  So gradually the feelings of contribution and accomplishment would be as natural as when she was an individual contributor.

When you think in terms of specifics and measureables:

• You can acknowledge your accomplishments and what else you would like achieve
• Success is more objective
• Less time is spent being frustrated

Of course, being specific and measureable doesn’t only apply to you as managers.  The more your employees are specific and measurable, the more your conversations are specific and measurable, the greater chance for communication to be clear and objectives met.

And that’s quite an accomplishment!