Planning Vs. Worrying
I was going on a retreat in Southern California. I decided I wanted to camp outside instead of staying in the dormitory style rooms. Also, since I was flying down I wanted to minimize what to bring on the plane with me.
I was going to my brothers the day before the retreat. I thought he had a tent but wanted to confirm this with him. After asking him I also inquired if I could borrow a couple of pillows.
His response was yes but also
You seem to be worrying about this a lot.
Button pushed.
I got pretty defensive and said
I’m not worried I’m planning.
His response
That’s something mom would say but you would say she was worrying.
Another button pushed.
Conversation over.
I wasn’t worrying I was planning so I could be organized.
But I started wondering about the difference between planning and worrying?
Actually in those moments I wasn’t wondering what the difference was I was worrying about what the difference was!
Which made me realize worrying was about being stuck in a moment, in a cycle with no out.
Planning was proactive and freeing.
Sure, too much planning could be confining and compulsive.
But when I’m planning instead of worrying:
• I’m attune to the present
• I’m not coming from fear but instead, looking for results
• I have the choice to worry about something else
So now I’ll plan on how I won’t let my brother push my buttons.