The Pity Party
One of my clients is an executive who always is at odds with his board of directors. He feels they don’t do enough so, of course, as a result, they never live up to his expectations.
The reason he feels this way involves a history of actions between him and the board over the last several years. (never mind over 50% of the original board has changed throughout this time).
What my client realized though is he was only hurting himself with these thoughts. It placed him into his pity party.
He is making tremendous conscious efforts to stay out of his pity party and look at the board differently.
He has made great progress but like anything else, there are ups and downs.
I asked him how he was doing. He said:
I was in my pity party. But I didn’t go to the VIP lounge this time!
I loved the comment.
I know I have my pity parties. They can last only a moment or span over some days. And while there might be some rationales if you’re going to have the party make it splashy, if you have the party too much and have made it too comfortable – you’re stuck.
Then the VIP lounge is not splashy but an excuse to stay in your negativity.
Pity parties. Feeling sorry for ourselves.
It’s human.
But when I recognize I’m in the party too long:
• I think of something I could be appreciative or grateful for – and pretend to be until I actually am
• I do something – anything – even smile – which is different then what I was doing
• I get over being bored because staying in those feelings is boring.
Occasionally I go to parties where I do go to the VIP lounge. But those parties have room for more then one living creature.